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MENTAL SIDEWALK

Your Path To Awareness






Image depicting a lack of intimacy
Why Most Cannot Achieve True Intimacy

Posted: 17-Jan-2014    Category: Psychology

David Burns believes that we are always playing games. Not just board games or organized sports, but games with each other. According to Burns, we are all carefully scripting our interpersonal interactions, trying to gain the maximum leverage possible.

This is a cynical view on humanity, but there is some truth to it. 

While it might be easy to be discouraged by such a view, it can actually be empowering in the right context. If we understand that everything is a game, then we can stop manipulative or destructive patterns of behaviour. 

In essence, once we recognize the confines of the games we create, we can rise above them.

  1. We play games with each other. Much of human interaction and daily living is an interpersonal game that we are always trying to win.
  2. We need to recognize our games. We have to see the game to change it. More than that, we need to acknowledge the game to overcome it.
  3. Go back to number 2 - Yes yes yes, you have to be willing to acknowledge the game in order to truly have loving connections in your life.

By rising above the games, we can achieve true intimacy, which will improve our relationships at home or work. In this way, we can change the game so everybody wins.


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