Posted: 21-Nov-2016 Category:
I have been staring at this blank page for a few hours. Well, actually I have been staring at it in my mind for a few weeks.
I have no idea what to say right now, what to write, what to share. So I will just start typing and let my heart lead my fingers. This is one of the greatest lessons I have learned in my life.
It's okay to let go sometimes and simply let things unfold the way they need to.
Ever since I was a child, my birthday has been a time of reflection for me. I do not know why or how that started. But I do remember one thing, as, to this day, it overpowers me.
I have always felt an unknown entity that grounds me and slows down the noise and constant movement around us, in order to question:
What is it all about?
Once again, I will trust my heart to lead my fingers into answering this very question.
If you allow me, I would like to share with you my personal reflection of the year. What did I learn? What did I forget? How I grew. How I loved. How I hurt. How I lost a part of myself and how I found a part of myself.
Okay, in reality, I probably won't answer all those questions here as it will turn out to be a book in itself. These are questions I know I want to reflect on for myself. In the process, I hope it helps you reflect on what you need to at this moment in your life.
I want to share with you 5 lessons I took away from my year.
Fine, to be honest, I know from this past year I can make an endless list and, at this point, I do not even know what the main 5 lessons are. So let's see where my heart leads me.
We run on autopilot. Most people do not even know why they do what they do, how they behave, how they talk to others, and how they treat the ones they call their priority in life.
If you know me, you know self-awareness is one of the most important things to me. This year I was challenged in ways that made me question everything I do and everything I believe I am.
What an amazing gift I was given, as annoying and painful as it is at the moment. Did I come up with an answer? Yes, I did, but not in the way most would expect.
The answer, my dear friends, is simply that we should never stop questioning everything we do and believe we are. It is within that process that we grow, that we connect to our vulnerabilities, that we create connections with people around us in ways we only see in ‘chick flicks’. J
What I found is that the more I questioned me, over others, the more the right people came into my life. The ones that refused to be honest with themselves found their own way out.
One of the hardest things for us homo sapiens to do is to let things go.
There are two pillars in our lives that determine what kind of a life we live. Within these, we carry anchors that weigh us down and stop us from going to places where “no person has gone before.” Had to throw in one of the most famous lines of all time.
We carry emotions from our past like they are our life-line. These emotions were given to us by our experiences in the past. By our parents during our childhood, by our friends, by the ones we tried to love, from the ones we tried to receive love from, and so on.
Most of these emotions are negative. We hold onto them so tight that every decision we make is driven by them. We have done that for so long that we do not even realize where our behaviours originate from.
My friends, let them go. Just let them go. It is that time, the time to release that grip and let it slip through your fingers like sand into the deep ocean.
The second one is people. We have people in our lives that we know do not belong anymore. Those people that take, take, take, and, when you need a helping hand, they are nowhere to be found. Those people that drain your energy with their negative and judgmental way of living.
There are people in our lives that belonged there in the past. Just because they belonged in the past does not mean they belong in the present and the future.
Every hour you spend with them is precious, genuine, authentic time you take away from those that truly matter.
This I love. So clean, basic, and simple, yet powerful.
What are you lying to yourself about? I don't want to write too much for this one, as I just want you to keep asking this question over and over again until the answers reveal themselves.
What are you lying to yourself about?
We have one life to live. Most are waiting for the right time. There is no better time than now.
I promise you this: if you are going to wait for the right time to say how you feel about your loved ones or for the right time to do what you want to do for the ones you care about, one day you will look into the depths of your heart and see a collection of antiques that you wished were used and experienced.
Take a chance, and leave nothing on the table. Life is about feeling all your emotions intensely.
You are only responsible to put all of yourself out, what others do with that is part of their journey.
Oh boy, this one is a hard one for me. It truly is. I constantly see people saying who their priority in life is, yet how they act with their supposed priority is nothing but second class treatment.
Let me make this as simple as I can. Your wife, your husband, your children, those that you consider your priority, those you say are your priority. Do you truly treat them as such?
There comes a time where you will have to choose to make a decision that shows what and who your priority is. What are we willing to let go of in order to truly live our priorities?
Let me make two things clear for those that like to justify their decisions in life.
Making no decision is making a decision. The fact that you need to ask the people that matter to you if you would like them to do something you already know you should do says a lot about where your heart is.
Okay, now that I have slammed you onto the mat like a WWF wrestler, let me give you some hope of winning this match.
If the above sounds like you, then for those that are courageous enough not to lie to themselves, it could simply mean we have gotten caught up with this fast-paced environment we live in.
Today is a new day. Today is the day you can stand up and say, “no more.” Today is the day you can truly live and appreciate what and who you have in front of you.
If you have a priority, nothing and no one exceeds it. Let go what you need to let go to have what you truly want.
We have lost ourselves in this fast-paced, superficial, self-absorbed world.
Two of the most powerful words we can have in our lives are Sorry and Thank you.
Most relationship problems would be solved if more people stopped the noise around them and took the time to truly show their appreciation for the things people do for them and to take responsibility for the times they know they were wrong.
A genuine “I am sorry” has more power than the big bang theory. For all you want to be physicist, if that analogy does not make sense – I am “Sorry”.
We spend a lifetime trying to get people to want us, like us, love us, be with us, etc…
I know I have always been guilty of that, especially in my younger years.
One of our greatest human needs is to be loved.
When we put so much focus on competing for someone's attention, we lose sight of the real people that are right in front of us or the opportunity for the right people to see us and us see them.
I remember doing a radio interview and being asked the question, “How do you deal with your competition?” My simple answer was: I do not deal with them. The only attention and time they get from me is to just learn from them.
This goes back to one of the points earlier in the article. The people in your lives, are you fighting for their attention? If so, ask yourself what you are really fighting to have?
Agh! – this one pisses me off at times. I see too many people focusing on what they do not have, what people are not doing, what people should do, and chasing what they want, what they think they want, that they are missing the exact thing they are wanting that is right in front of them.
We lose sight at times of what we truly want, while we are so focused on stupid little things that really do not matter in our pursuit of happiness.
Is a reflection of how you see yourself or how you respect the other.
It is amazing how we give more respect to the people floating through our lives than those we love and call our priorities, like our families, children, wives, husbands, etc…
It's so sad to see how some people talk down, criticize, yell, raise their voice, and so on to the people close to them. It actually breaks my heart when I walk by people in that state.
How can we possibly want to hurt those closest to us?
Research shows that we are either very unhappy with the kind of person we have become or with how our lives have turned out.
We are so insecure to reveal the past tornados we carry deep inside to the ones that care about us that we lash out instead during discussions and misunderstandings.
When, in fact, these are the same people that want to be there with us to calm the tornado, if we allow it.
So, What Is It All About?
Sitting here reflecting on my year,
I realized that what I focus on seems to feel like it was my reality for the year.
I focus on love,
And my year feels like it was full of love.
I focus on the hurt, the betrayals, the pain, the loss,
And my year was full of that.
In the end, we have it all around us and always will.
Question is, what is it that you are focusing on?
As that is exactly what your life will revolve around.
So what is it all about in the end?
Only you can answer that for yourself….
It can be what ever you want it to be.
That's the beauty of life.